Unsung; Unforgettable

Fantastic figure skating performances often earn their just rewards in the form of a medal, but the paucity of available medals inevitably results in some fine performances left empty-handed.  Unrewarded they may be, but not forgotten--here's a non-exhaustive list of some of my favorite relatively obscure(ish) performances that did not result in a medal, except perhaps in my heart:

Mediocre Men

Note: I wrote the following post around January 2018, but never published it for various reasons.  Thankfully, my dim prognosis of the men's event at the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics turned out to be incorrect: contrary to my gloomy expectations, the men for the most part skated well, and the most well-rounded and complete men's performances even made it to the podium (!).

For entertainment purposes, I've decided to dust this post off and publish it now . . .

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With the uppermost echelons of the men's discipline firmly engaged in the high-risk, high-rewards quads arms race, the judges improperly lumping together the skaters' Program Components Scores with insufficient differentiation between the skaters, and a storied history of major implosions and/or nerves among the top competitors, there is a good chance that the men's event at the Pyeongchang Olympics will be a splatfest of major proportions.

This is disappointing, not only because it is painful to watch skaters' lifelong, Olympic-themed dreams crumble amidst bitter tears and the gnashing of teeth in front of literal millions, but also because the men's event at the past three Olympic games have also been absolutely dismal, featuring not only poor performances in terms of completed content but also mediocre programs and choreography.*  Let's take an unpleasant, but mercifully brief, stroll down memory lane . . .

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Since news of skaters' music choices for the upcoming Olympic season has started to hit the presses, the prevalent theme of such music choices has not quite been La La Land to the extent I'd expected, but rather recycling--that is, re-using previously-done programs and/or music. For example, off the top of my head:

• Yuzuru Hanyu is re-using his Chopin's Ballade No. 1 SP and Seimei LP*
• Duhamel/Radford are recycling their old Muse LP
• Shoma Uno is returning to his Turandot LP
• Mirai Nagasu is re-using her Chopin's Nocturne No. 20 in C Sharp Minor SP
• Elena Radionova is repurposing her Porgy and Bess SP
• Ashley Wagner is recycling her Hip Hip Chin Chin SP
• Polina Tsurskaya is re-using her Light of the Seven SP
• Alina Zagitova is returning to her Don Quixote LP
• Javier Fernandez is reusing Chaplin music for one of his programs,
• . . . and so on. 

In other words, typical Olympic season.

As noted previously, skaters generally eschew avant-garde artistic concepts or groundbreaking music choices during the Olympic season. The stakes are just too high, given that the chance for a coveted Olympic spot--much less an Olympic medal!--inconveniently only comes around once every four years. Moreover, the temptation to return to a previously-successful music choice is understandably quite strong in light of the rather conservative figure skating judging establishment, which seemingly never tires of yet another Carmen or Phantom of the Opera program.

Gems from the Youtube Vault

One of my favorite Youtube channels ever belongs to the incomparable Mintaka Alnilam, who--undoubtedly aided by the forces of cosmic goodness--somehow possesses the wherewithal to constantly upload crystal-clear, high-definition footage of ancient, decades-old figure skating events. This superb Youtubist uploads high-definition videos of skaters both famous and obscure skating at a staggeringly wide spectrum of competitions and exhibitions for the benefit of the figure skating faithful.

Having watched much of these decades-old performances exclusively through grainy, pixellated videos on Youtube for many years, suddenly being able to watch incredibly clear, high-definition videos (often with different camera angles!!) of the same performances is like being able to see the newly restored Sistine Chapel frescoes for the first time after only ever being able to view them cloaked with centuries of grime--just extraordinary. Whoever you are, Mintaka Alnilam, thank you.

Without further ado, here are some select gems from Mintaka Alnilam's Youtube vault:

Super Steps

**This post is dedicated to Hakkai**

Given how fashionable it is to blame IJS for a wide assortment of figure skating maladies (including but not limited to ruining spins in the ever-contorted quest for levels, fan spirals, and the sorry state of pairs skating), I am aware of the fact that having the opinion that IJS step sequences are generally an improvement on their 6.0 counterparts is a controversial one likely to draw scorn, something akin to believing in the tooth fairy as an adult or thinking that tartan pairs very well with paisley. But that is indeed an opinion I hold, and I will now defend it the only way I know how: verbiage with bits of video footage liberally interspersed in between.

Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day!

For those of the non-Canadian persuasion, Canada Day is the day when Canadians ride their pet polar bear and/or moose to the local curling rink, where they gather together to eat poutine and drink from bags of milk. On this auspicious holiday, Canadians are often found garbing themselves in maple leaves (in contrast to their usual flannel lumberjack attire) and being proud of the fact that they are not American. If you find yourself talking to a Canadian today, you can endear yourself to them forever by congratulating them for having a universal healthcare system or gun control. Alternatively, you can delight a Canadian by merely acknowledging the simple fact that Canada exists, and that you are aware of a national holiday at the beginning of July that is not on the 4th of July.

Though ice hockey holds the lion's share of the collective Canadian consciousness with regards to athletic endeavors, Canadians nonetheless have had an illustrious record of success in the sport of figure skating. In lieu of eating poutine and garbing yourself in maple leaf paraphernalia, you may thus celebrate Canada Day in the comfort of your own home by watching the following assortment of memorable programs by Canadian skaters:

Adios Nonino

Saying that Ástor Piazzolla's Adios Nonino is your favorite tango composition is like saying that the Mona Lisa is your favorite painting, but Adios Nonino is indeed my favorite tango composition despite the fierce competition for that honor (for the record, however, the Mona Lisa is not my favorite painting).

Anyway, I adore Piazzolla, and can often be found listening to various iterations of Adios Nonino on repeat. If I were a competitive figure skater, I would definitely choose to skate to an Adios Nonino long program, perhaps even during an all-important Olympic year when the general public suddenly becomes aware of the existence of figure skating. Many figure skaters (or their choreographers) seem to have similar sentiments regarding Adios Nonino, as it is a relatively common choice for competitive figure skating programs. Without further ado, let's scrutinize a (somewhat random) list of Adios Nonino programs below:

What I'm Watching.....

Currently suffering from huge, crippling writer's block. I can only offer short, incoherent posts on the things I am fixated on right now:

A Pipe Dream

For various reasons, I am usually loath to trot out music suggestions for figure skaters but I had the most vivid dream recently. Though I will refrain from spilling all the details of said dream publicly lest someone decides to get all Freudian on me, a particularly memorable portion of the dream involved Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir skating to the music of Richard Wagner's Tristan und Isolde:

Your Rachmaninoff Sucks

Sergei Rachmaninoff composed a varied and extensive repertoire, yet those with little exposure to his music aside from figure skating can be forgiven for thinking that the man wrote only a mere two pieces of music. Or, to be more accurate, a mere 1.67 pieces of music: the 18th variation of Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini and the first (Moderato) and second (Adagio Sostenuto) movements of Piano Concerto No. 2. Both works of music have been used ad nauseam in figure skating, and one can always count on one or both to be used by a skater/team every season.

In some ways, this is understandable. The first and second movements of Piano Concerto No. 2 are ravishingly beautiful pieces of music, their rich orchestration and lush lyricism sure to be pleasing to the judges' ears even if the skating is not quite on that level. Any skater would understandably want to harness the intoxicating blend of power and poetry of Piano Concerto No. 2, especially since a few enduring masterpieces have already resulted from this particular pairing of Rachmaninoff and skating:

Japan Open 2011

New programs, new season, new post! I am excite!



Am I finally on the Chan crack? That shit is potent yo. I have to admit--I actually quite enjoyed Patrick Chan's Concerto de Aranjuez. Yes, it's a Lori Nichol hand-me-down (via Takeshi Honda and Joannie Rochette) but it's a much more palatable offering than last year's Phantom of the Opera. No, Mr. Chan does not quite have the soulful maturity needed to fully wring all the subtle angst out of this particular piece of music, but he does look more mature, the way he holds himself has improved and the program does showcase his mastery of skating skills very well. At this point, however, Takeshi Honda's Aranjuez is still superior, but the season is still young and there's plenty more Chan crack to smoke.

An Orison

Sometimes....a little magic is needed in our quotidian existences.

Angsty Business

Nobody understands the depth of my PAIN!!1!

Figure skating often appears to be first and foremost a sport of adolescents. This is actually quite literally the case, especially in ladies and half of pairs skating, when the bodies of many female skaters can still be kept in their jump-friendly prepubsecent stages before the scourge of puberty, but really, the adolescent phenomenon is prevalent throughout all the discplines of figure skating. That is, world-weary and overblown adolescent angst appears to be the norm in many a figure skating program, a well-trod trope as familiar as the generic female ballad. This is not terribly surprising--after all, figure skaters are supposed to Artists, baring their souls out on the ice in order to achieve that vaunted goal, the "personal and creative translation of the music to movement on ice." What better emotion is there than the pangs of angst, that universal adolescent experience in the sturm und drang of life?