The Apple of Averbukh's Eye

As I ventured over to Youtube to watch Mikahil Kolyada's The White Crow LP for about the 19301484th time during this famine of a figure skating season, a thought struck my mind like an ice pick to the skull: is Ilia Averbukh actually one of the best figure skating choreographers working today?

I know, to even suggest such a thing would undoubtedly condemn me as an unwashed neophyte among certain of the figure skating cognoscenti. After all, Mr. Averbukh is often remembered for his wacky interviews when not being denigrated for representing the worst excesses of early-2000s ice dance before the penitent wave of fresh, squeaky-clean Marina Zoueva teams cleansed ice dance of its sins.  I for one am not going to defend Jesus Christ Superstar or Fever.  Nor can I explain Mr. Averbukh's inexplicable decision to dump the legendary Marina Anissina for Irina Lobacheva.   

But judge a man by his deeds, not his choice of ice dance partner/wife.  So let's take a look at the evidence at hand here:

Recap: 2017 Rostelecom Cup: Men & Ladies

Last weekend, the senior Grand Prix of Figure Skating officially kicked off with the Rostelecom Cup of Russia in Moscow, Russia! Despite the suspense of seeing the debut of new programs somewhat muted by the increasingly large amount of skaters participating in the Challenger Series, questions nonetheless abounded prior to this year's iteration of the Rostelecom Cup: was Yuzuru Hanyu really going to go for the 4Lz? How many points was Evgenia Medvedeva was going to win by in the ladies field?? Were any skaters going to make Tatiana Tarasova go into paroxysms of ecstasy live on air???

2017 Russian Test Skates: Day One (Ladies and Men)

Some snap observations / reactions to Day One of the Russian men's and ladies' test skates this season, i.e., the first look at many of the Russian skaters' new programs this season . . . please insert usual caveats about how the performances at the test skates are often rough drafts of what the skaters' programs will look like during the actual season, how skaters are not quite in fighting shape at this point of the year, etc., etc.

2017 World Team Trophy: 20 Questions

Twenty questions about everyone's favorite end-of-season cheesefest . . .

Russian Test Skates 2016: Ladies SPs

First impressions of the new ladies short programs at the Russian test skates this season! Please insert usual caveats when it comes to evaluating early-season performances at a non-competitive event . . .

Various Russian Ladies' LPs: A Review (Part I)

Among the ranks of ladies figure skating today, the Russian ladies are undeniably dominating the field. What other national competition this year will feature no less than seven competitors that have won at least one of the following titles: Olympic champion, World Champion, European Champion, Grand Prix Final Champion, and World Junior Champion? In retrospect, it's incredible that Russia has this embarrassment of riches when it comes to ladies skaters. It seems like only yesterday when the Russian ladies were floundering with disasters such as Ksenia Doronina and Nina Petushkova after Irina Slutskaya retired in 2006.

However, with the spots-per-country rule in force, Russia can only send a meager three ladies to both Worlds and Europeans despite its immensely deep ladies field. If only we could take the Russian men's spots and give them to the ladies instead . . .

So, in anticipation of the bloodbath that will be the ladies competition at the upcoming Russian National Champions, let us take a look at the long programs of some of the top ladies competitors in Yekaterinburg:

Grand Prix Final 2015: Everyone Else

The men were so awesome they get their own post. Everything else that happened at the senior Grand Prix Final 2015 goes in here.

Let's do this twenty questions style:

The Prophet Morozov

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned . . .

Approximately three years ago, when I was young and ignorant, I wrote a post excoriating Nikolai Morozov for choreographing what I viewed as an abomination: Elena Ilinykh/Nikita Katsalapov's Ghost. At the time, I took particular umbrage at the inclusion of spoken dialogue from the musical Ghost in the program, bemoaning how the inclusion of such dialogue was detrimental to the entire concept of "interpretation" in figure skating.

As usual, I was wrong. The ISU broke down the musical barrier between ice dance and the other disciplines last season by allowing the inclusion of lyrics and the spoken voice in general in all four disciplines. Of course, the majority of  programs taking advantage of the rule change last year used verses from various songs, seemingly all taken from The Phantom of the Opera. For example:

2015 Worlds Recap: the Ladies (Part One)

Like most seemingly rational people prior to the ladies event at 2015 Worlds, I predicted that the ladies podium at Worlds this year would have a Russian in the gold  (Elizaveta Tuktamysheva) and silver (Elena Radionova) positions and an American in the bronze position (my choice was Gracie Gold, but others favored Ashley Wagner, which was not an irrational choice). In the deepest, darkest, and most delusional recesses of my heart, however, I hoped for a slightly different podium: Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, Satoko Miyahara, and Elena Radionova. I nursed hopes of this dream podium in desperate times, but my rational self knew that my rational podium prediction was at least 74.3% times more likely to come to fruition.

[Insert typical caveats and clichés about ice being slippery here, etc.]

However, I was thrilled that my dream podium actually came true!! Given that my dream podium predictions usually have a distinctly delusional flavor to them, they are almost never reflective of reality so I was almost overcome with shock when I realized that my dream podium prediction was actually, well, manifesting in reality (admittedly, the shock could also be somewhat attributed to sleep deprivation). Of course, my dream podium for the ladies this year was not quite as . . . delusional ambitious . . . as past dream podiums, but I'm just thrilled that it came true.

Favorite Performances of 2014

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a figure blog on the cusp of a new year, must write a retrospective listing favorite performances from the year past. And so here are mine for 2014.

Note that I said "favorite," which may or may not necessarily correspond with "best." Insert usual caveats such as de gustibus non est disputandum, etc., here.

Rants and Raves: Skate Canada 2014

Various rants and raves on Skate Canada 2014, in a quasi-garbled, stream-of-consciousness context. No time to edit my ramblings this week.

The winter of our discontent made glorious summer

On 1 November 1461, Richard Plantagenet, more famously known by his later alias of Richard III of England, was granted the dukedom of Gloucester. In honor of the five hundred and fifty-third anniversary of this momentous, earth-shattering occasion happening in two days, this post is dedicated to Richard III! Rock on, Richard!! White boars forever!!! Of course, since this is ostensibly a figure skating blog, I will endeavor to rope figure skating in here somehow.

But first, a backgrounder on Richard III before we proceed. Though unfairly maligned for centuries by Tudor propagandists such as Shakespeare, the reputation of Richard III has undergone extensive rehabilitation during recent years, no doubt helped by revisionist historiography and the tireless efforts of hard-working Ricardians. The surest sign of Richard III's reputational rehabilitation is evidenced by the evolution of his fictional portrayal through time: Richard III went from being portrayed as an ugly, physically-deformed and unscrupulous antagonist in Shakespeare's play Richard III to the misunderstood, brooding heartthrob played by Aneurin Barnard in the recent television series The White Queen. Anyway, Richard III's reputation has suffered for centuries due for three reasons:

1) Seizing the throne from his nephew Edward V after his brother Edward IV died
2) Widespread suspicion that he was involved in the mysterious disappearances of his nephews Edward V and Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York
3) Having his throne seized by right of conquest from Henry Tudor (AKA Henry VII) and the Tudors needing to justify their reigns by demonizing Richard III

But all that is water under the bridge now. In honor of Richard III, let's go through the figure skating world and evaluate how its denizens are inspired by/carrying out his honorable legacy:

Skate America 2014: Ladies SP

Some comments on the top 3 ladies short programs at Skate America 2014....


Elizaveta Tuktamysheva
The downward trajectory of Elizaveta Tutkamysheva has been painful to watch over the past few seasons, particularly as she is a Russian ladies skater: one gets the sense that Ms. Tuktamysheva would literally be trampled afoot by the hordes of talented Russian ladies skaters clawing their way up to the podium. After failing to make the Russian Olympic team at her home Olympics, Ms. Tuktamysheva has clearly buckled down and worked hard to improve her skating. Skating to Bolero while dressed in a dark, bat-winged dress (the wings presumably in tribute to Christopher Dean), Ms. Tuktmaysheva placed first in the short program with a clean skate. Ms. Tuktamysheva's choreography has a jerky quality rather incongruous with the music of Bolero, but her jumps looked very good, and she skated the entire performance with a sort of confidence, conviction and speed that has often been missing from her skating for the past couple of seasons.

Merry Christmas!

This is my favorite skating-related Christmas video of all time.

As a rather belated celebration of Christmas in Russia (January 7, for all you heathens using that new-fangled Gregorian calendar), consider this post a small fête for all things Russian and figure skating! Plus comments on the most recent Russian Nationals after the jump.


The sheer Wagnerian heft of Alexei Yagudin's Gladiator makes 99.9% of all other programs look like skimpy little things in comparison.


I expect to be confined to a wheelchair chain-smoking cigarettes when I'm in my fifties, but the Protopopovs show how it should be done.


I think I fell in love with Anjelika Krylova after watching this FD.