Mediocre Men

Note: I wrote the following post around January 2018, but never published it for various reasons.  Thankfully, my dim prognosis of the men's event at the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics turned out to be incorrect: contrary to my gloomy expectations, the men for the most part skated well, and the most well-rounded and complete men's performances even made it to the podium (!).

For entertainment purposes, I've decided to dust this post off and publish it now . . .

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With the uppermost echelons of the men's discipline firmly engaged in the high-risk, high-rewards quads arms race, the judges improperly lumping together the skaters' Program Components Scores with insufficient differentiation between the skaters, and a storied history of major implosions and/or nerves among the top competitors, there is a good chance that the men's event at the Pyeongchang Olympics will be a splatfest of major proportions.

This is disappointing, not only because it is painful to watch skaters' lifelong, Olympic-themed dreams crumble amidst bitter tears and the gnashing of teeth in front of literal millions, but also because the men's event at the past three Olympic games have also been absolutely dismal, featuring not only poor performances in terms of completed content but also mediocre programs and choreography.*  Let's take an unpleasant, but mercifully brief, stroll down memory lane . . .

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Since news of skaters' music choices for the upcoming Olympic season has started to hit the presses, the prevalent theme of such music choices has not quite been La La Land to the extent I'd expected, but rather recycling--that is, re-using previously-done programs and/or music. For example, off the top of my head:

• Yuzuru Hanyu is re-using his Chopin's Ballade No. 1 SP and Seimei LP*
• Duhamel/Radford are recycling their old Muse LP
• Shoma Uno is returning to his Turandot LP
• Mirai Nagasu is re-using her Chopin's Nocturne No. 20 in C Sharp Minor SP
• Elena Radionova is repurposing her Porgy and Bess SP
• Ashley Wagner is recycling her Hip Hip Chin Chin SP
• Polina Tsurskaya is re-using her Light of the Seven SP
• Alina Zagitova is returning to her Don Quixote LP
• Javier Fernandez is reusing Chaplin music for one of his programs,
• . . . and so on. 

In other words, typical Olympic season.

As noted previously, skaters generally eschew avant-garde artistic concepts or groundbreaking music choices during the Olympic season. The stakes are just too high, given that the chance for a coveted Olympic spot--much less an Olympic medal!--inconveniently only comes around once every four years. Moreover, the temptation to return to a previously-successful music choice is understandably quite strong in light of the rather conservative figure skating judging establishment, which seemingly never tires of yet another Carmen or Phantom of the Opera program.

Unfortunate Associations

In an article from the New Yorker, Richard Brody discusses music that has personally been ruined for him association with questionable films--specifically, Lars von Trier's ham-fisted use of various beloved classical pieces in Nymphomanic. I certainly can empathise: to me, Prokofiev's otherwise delightful Dance of the Knights from Romeo and Juliet is forever bound up with the luridly torturous experience of watching Tinto Brass' Caligula.  Listening to music, as Mr. Brody rightfully points out, is a highly personal experience and there comes a point when it is impossible to dissociate a piece of music from a personal experience--whether that be a film, a specific person, a figure skating performance.

So, what pieces of music have been ruined for me via association with thoroughly unpleasant figure skating programs?

A Game

Let's play a game.

Can anyone spot the common theme among the videos in this post?

Déjà vu: A Pictorial Post

I like to think that skating is an activity in which imitation--as Charles Colton once put it--is the sincerest form of flattery. It's certainly a rosier view than the alternative (that is, a lack of new ideas).

Year of the Comeback

The 2012-2013 season may indeed be the Year of the Comeback. Like Lazarus come forth, figure skaters have seemingly emerged from their various non-competitive existences in droves to do battle yet again with those remaining in the competitive ranks. However, competitive comebacks are often fraught with danger--the tarnishing of previously-impeccable legacies, injuries due to under-trained bodies, etc., etc. So...all these comebacks this season:  good idea, or bad idea?

Well, it depends.

Fields of bronze

Skaters come to their own at wildly varying times within their careers. Some languish about in the bottom of the elite ranks for years, unknown and unrecognised, only reaching their peaks (relatively) later in life--e.g. Maria Butyrskaya, Jeremy Abbott. Others show prodigious talent from an early age, making their debut in a blaze of glory on figure skating's largest stage in the regular season--the World Championships. For various reasons, ladies figure skaters (particularly after the abolishment of compulsory figures) tended to be more likely to make such a larger splash early in their lives compared to their male counterparts--for example, note that ladies skaters such as Oksana Baiul and Kimmie Meissner have won Worlds on their first try, a feat that has yet to be accomplished by any man since Hans Gerschwiler in 1947--but some men have nonetheless had their place in the sun from an early age. Let's take a look back at some of the men who have managed to win a medal at their first Worlds:

Pick your poison

With the ubiquity of the recycling logo and the proliferation of recycling bins everywhere, recycling has long been in vogue for many people.....including the denizens that populate the world of figure skating, it appears! Instead of paper and aluminum cans, however, what is often recycled in figure skating are music cuts, program concepts and even choreography in some particularly sad cases.

So what are we to do as bewildered spectators? Vote in frivolous polls to compare the programs, of course!  Today we will focus on the environmentally-friendly works of noted skating choreographer Lori Nichol. Under the cut is a nowhere-near-exhaustive list of programs all choreographed by Ms. Nichol. Please vote and feel free to justify your choices, etc., in the comments. I will also write a follow-up post next week with my opinions of the programs.....

Grand Prix Assignments 2012-2013: Men and Ladies

The Grand Prix assignments for the 2012-2013 season have been released! Some observations/speculations for the men's and ladies' assignments:

-Johnny Weir actually appears to be somewhat serious about coming back, and managed to wrangle for himself two GP events: Rostelecom Cup and Trophee Eric Bompard. Mr. Weir has zero chances of winning at Rostelecom Cup and merely an infinitesimal chance to do so at Trophee Eric Bompard, though. Outside shot at the podium for both, though more so at Paris than at Moscow.

-in other news on the comeback front, neither Evan Lysacek and Evgeni Plushenko received official assignments, although both Skate America and Rostelecom Cup have TBA host pick spots. There's still the (hopefully distant) possibility that Mr. Lysacek may return and claim his host pick spot at Skate America, but Patrick Chan's presence in Moscow at the GP next year should all but guarantee that Mr. Plushenko will not skate in the GP next year. There's no point of losing to Mr. Chan on home territory if it could be avoided....

Choreograph This!

One of those things that annoy me to no end right now is when someone says something along the lines of, "Skater X deserves higher Choreography marks in PCS because his/her choreography is more difficult," or variations on such a statement. Well, crack open the proverbial rulebook and you will find that according to the official ISU gospel, 'difficulty' is actually not mentioned even once in the Choreography/Composition section of the official Program Components explanations. Choreography is defined by the ISU as "an intentional, developed, and/or original arrangement of all movements according to the principles of proportion, unity, space, pattern, structure, and phrasing"...ergo, according to the rules, how well the skater's choreographed movements communicate and express the idea and concept of a program, how creative/original the choreography is, etc., is actually what is supposed to be evaluated when we speak of the choreography mark in figure skating.

Perhaps due to the furore over transitions of late, I've noticed that there's often a conflation of the two separate concepts of difficulty/quantity of transitional movements and good choreography. Of course, having lots of complex and difficult linking movements and in-between skating should be and is rewarded--but according to the rulebook, in the Transitions and Skating Skills (e.g. mastery of one foot skating, etc) components. But having more or more difficult choreography and transitions doesn't necessarily mean it's better choreography, or even that such movements necessarily convey a purpose or are structured to match the music's phrasing and form. What people (including myself at times, to be honest) often forget especially in this era of CoP is that space, glide, and flow in a program are not always bad things--when used judiciously (i.e. in service to the music, etc), they can even be instances of good choreography. See, for example, the following programs:

God and Gold: The Sport That Believes

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Thus said Jesus Christ himself in Luke 9:23 of the Bible, and if the Good Book is to believed....then figure skating must be the world's holiest sport.

Indeed, nary a sport can boast a similar proliferation of crucifixes proudly displayed by participants. Such dedication to displaying the Christian symbol of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation from the world and its ungodly ways can be found displayed loud and proud:

Pasha Grishuk and Evgeni Platov, 1998 Olympic champions in ice dance

Or small but intimately close to the heart:

Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov, 2011 World silver medalists in pair skating

Oh Lori



Too good to last

In the beginning...there was the golden triumvirate of Michelle Kwan, Frank Carroll and Lori Nichol. In this potent trio combined a skater with an insane amount of talent and work ethic with a coach and a choreographer that possessed the strength of vision and creativity to do something about it.

It was the stuff of dreams. It was skating's version of Fonteyn and Nureyev, of champagne and caviar. Season after season, the triumvirate consistently produced programs that quickly ascended to iconic status in figure skating:

Maleficent Mao

NOTE: THIS POST IS ENTIRELY SATIRICAL. Seriously, people!  
It has come to my attention that certain Internet forums have been aflutter with reports, mostly stemming from this article revealing that Mao Asada's lavender 'barnacle boob' costume this season was designed by Canadian designer Josiane Lamond. Ms. Lamond had previously designed Yu-Na Kim's costumes when she was still under the tutelage of Brian Orser.  This, according to intrepid Internet sleuths, is clear and convincing proof that Miss Asada was obviously trying to reach out to Mr. Orser, former coach of Miss Asada's rival Miss Kim and that Miss Asada's pernicious efforts to derail the former Dream Team of Mr. Orser and Miss Kim were indeed a major part of the Orser-Kim split.

Now, many people have pooh-poohed this incident as yet another unhinged conspiracy theory, the latest ramblings sprouted from fans smarting after the defeat of their favorite, but ignoring these CLEAR AND CONVINCING FACTS demonstrates a willful ignorance of how costumes have historically been used in the psychological mind-game that is the typical figure skating competition.

Recycling the Warhorse: A Tale of Two American Skaters

A major problem of using so-called warhorse music in figure skating is that we simply know it too well. Unsurprisingly, the relentless recycling of classics such as Carmen, Swan Lake, and Romeo and Juliet season after season brings on a litany of complaints, endless (often unfavorable) comparisons to past performances and the feeling of a certain dearth of creativity in the sport. Common sense appears to dictate that it is much wiser to dazzle with the bells and whistles of innovation, but novelty has its risks, with great potential to wear off quickly and--not least of all--is quite difficult to produce on command under the constraints of CoP. What results is that many figure skaters and their choreographers appear to aim for a combination of the two: reinterpreting a classic piece and making it better combines both the joy of something new together with the evocative emotions of the old.

Happy Koninkrijksdag!

Happy Koninkrijksdag!

For the non-Dutch, today (15 December) commemorates the signing of the Charter for the Kingdom of the Netherlands (or the Statuut voor het Koninkrijk der Nederlanden). To celebrate this holiday, consider this blog post a tribute to the windmills of figure skating (windmills being a famous feature of the Netherlands).

Arms constitute an important part of the aesthetic picture in figure skating. The good use of arms in a figure skating program can highlight a key choreographic movement, enhance nuances in the music, convey an emotion.

On the flip side, however, arms can also be immensely distracting, particularly if the skater does not quite know what to do with his or her arms, and/or is desperately trying to fulfill the "upper body movement" requirements as demanded by CoP. Such skaters are highly reminiscient of windmills, aimlessly thrusting their arms up and down throughout their programs except when they stop to pose. Normally such an unsightly use of arms merit scorn and derision, but today, we will celebrate them in all their flailing, eye-poking glory.