A Game

Let's play a game.

Can anyone spot the common theme among the videos in this post?

Year of the Comeback

The 2012-2013 season may indeed be the Year of the Comeback. Like Lazarus come forth, figure skaters have seemingly emerged from their various non-competitive existences in droves to do battle yet again with those remaining in the competitive ranks. However, competitive comebacks are often fraught with danger--the tarnishing of previously-impeccable legacies, injuries due to under-trained bodies, etc., etc. So...all these comebacks this season:  good idea, or bad idea?

Well, it depends.

Lift Your Leg

The spiral is an iconic move in ladies figure skating, instantly recognizable to connoisseur and layperson alike. What other element in figure skating has quite the same breadth of appeal as the spiral, which captivates the attention of those who watch figure skating for the art (exquisite spiral perfectly timed to highlight a certain musical phrase), those preoccupied with technique (deep, stable, controlled edges...ideally), lavishness old roués (pretty girls in short skirts lifting their legs) and everyone in between? Indeed, some of the more memorable moments in figure skating have involved spirals in various incarnations:

Favorite Fluff

As their name implies, figure skating fluff pieces are not exactly among the most intellectually demanding things aired on television. In the rush to seek out the lowest common denominator to broaden the appeal of figure skating to the unconverted masses, many fluff pieces tend to be high on melodrama and cheese but low on actual information (particularly of the technical variety needed to fully understand CoP) about the sport itself. Though some of the die-hard skating faithful bemoan the lost opportunity for educating the masses, there is nonetheless a special place in my heart for the typical cheesy fluff piece. Here are some of my favorites that have survived the copyright purges on Youtube:

Grand Prix Assignments 2012-2013: Men and Ladies

The Grand Prix assignments for the 2012-2013 season have been released! Some observations/speculations for the men's and ladies' assignments:

-Johnny Weir actually appears to be somewhat serious about coming back, and managed to wrangle for himself two GP events: Rostelecom Cup and Trophee Eric Bompard. Mr. Weir has zero chances of winning at Rostelecom Cup and merely an infinitesimal chance to do so at Trophee Eric Bompard, though. Outside shot at the podium for both, though more so at Paris than at Moscow.

-in other news on the comeback front, neither Evan Lysacek and Evgeni Plushenko received official assignments, although both Skate America and Rostelecom Cup have TBA host pick spots. There's still the (hopefully distant) possibility that Mr. Lysacek may return and claim his host pick spot at Skate America, but Patrick Chan's presence in Moscow at the GP next year should all but guarantee that Mr. Plushenko will not skate in the GP next year. There's no point of losing to Mr. Chan on home territory if it could be avoided....

God and Gold: The Sport That Believes

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Thus said Jesus Christ himself in Luke 9:23 of the Bible, and if the Good Book is to believed....then figure skating must be the world's holiest sport.

Indeed, nary a sport can boast a similar proliferation of crucifixes proudly displayed by participants. Such dedication to displaying the Christian symbol of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation from the world and its ungodly ways can be found displayed loud and proud:

Pasha Grishuk and Evgeni Platov, 1998 Olympic champions in ice dance

Or small but intimately close to the heart:

Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov, 2011 World silver medalists in pair skating

Miki Ando, Piano Concerto in A minor

At the crux of every critique is the question of what exactly is the subject of critique for. Even if such a question is not explicitly posed, the post facto act of dissection itself nonetheless always implies the possibility of a better (or at the very least, different) subject. This in turn springs forth the irksome issues of ideals, aesthetics, absolutes and the like. But if it is actually possible to delve into the tempest and find within it a definitive "for" in regards to figure skating programs, the answer arguably lies somewhere in a precarious balance between art and sport. Hence the distinction between the "Technical Merit" and "Artistic Impression" components under the 6.0 judging system, as well as the slightly more blurred "Technical Elements Score" and Program Components Score" categories under the CoP. We expect figure skating programs to engage the emotions and the intellect, but, at the same time, since figure skating is also a sport, a program should also be constructed to win competitions on the technical front as well.

With this is mind, Miki Ando's long program to Grieg's Piano Concerto in A minor presents something of a conundrum to the critic. On one hand, this long program is to be lauded for the shrewd way it has been perfectly calibrated to win competitions. As noted previously, this program is choreographed in such a way that squeezes every last point out of the CoP with minimal risk via this formula:

(1) Insert two jumping passes at the beginning
(2) Insert another two back-to-back spins right after to take up more time
(3) Do enough energy-conservative and trite posing to take up time until the halfway point of the program is reached
(4) Insert 5 back-to-back jumping passes after the halfway point to rack up those bonus points
(5) Insert trademark Morozov straightline step sequence to end

2011 Worlds: Ladies LP Recap

Which is preferable: a bizarre event (men) or bizarre judging (ladies)? As painful as the former was, the latter is certainly quite a bit more disheartening.

2011 Worlds: Ladiezzz SP

After the sturm und drang of the men's event, a fairly drama-free ladies event was almost welcome. However, the truism that one should be careful of what one wishes for unfortunately applies here, as the ladies SP was downright soporific.

Morozombie's Crystal Ball: Grand Prix Final 2010

Count Daisuke von Tango

To be honest, I usually avoid making predictions like the plague, mostly because my predictions often backfire on me, albeit sometimes to hilarious results.

Fortunately, the limited number of participants in the Grand Prix Final leaves less room for error, so without further ado...

Morozombie Hall of Infamy: Miki Ando, circa 2009

An ill-conceived appreciation of Miki's mammiferous qualities.