Russian Test Skates 2016: Ladies SPs

First impressions of the new ladies short programs at the Russian test skates this season! Please insert usual caveats when it comes to evaluating early-season performances at a non-competitive event . . .

Russian Test Skates 2012

Forgive me for my lack of updates lately, I'm currently in an abominable situation where I am forced to rely on Precambrian dial-up Internet speeds. Loading a Youtube video in 240p quality takes upwards of a century; HD video is an unfathomable concept. As one can imagine, this rather hampers my ability to keep up with the coming tide of new programs debuting lately.

Nevertheless, here are some videos I've managed to eke out of my shoddy Internet connection from the Russian test skates:

Worlds 2012: Ladies LP Recap

Ah, ladies skating. Just last Olympic cycle, many fans of figure skating were fanning themselves over the Yu-Na Kim and Mao Asada rivalry, oohing and ahhing at the 3As and 3-3s being whipped out by the two skaters jostling at the top, thereby raising the technical level of the entire discipline. The men were scoffed at for winning without quadruple jumps and there was quite a bit of sound and fury directed at the pernicious influence of quadless World and Olympic champions. Yet now...nine out of the top ten men at Worlds this year landed quadruple jumps in their programs (plus much more), and many fans have instead turned to bemoaning the fact that the top ladies this year lack difficult 3-3s, 3Lutzes, etc. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose....

Worlds 2012: Ladies SP Recap

Despite the byzantine politiks of dance, the sheer nail-biting danger presented by pairs and the fact that most of my favorite skaters are actually men, the clusterfuck that is the ladies discipline somehow usually ends up as the event that most compels me to hurl various objects at my computer screen and raid the liquor cabinet. Sadly, the ladies short program at 2012 Worlds was no exception.

Let's begin with the penultimate group of ladies.

GPF 2011: the Ladiezzz

Unfortunately, the ladies' event at the Grand Prix Final seemed somehow incomplete with the last-minute withdrawal of Mao Asada upon the news of her mother's illness and passing away. My deepest condolences and sympathy goes to Mao and the Asada family in this trying time.

As for the ladies event in general....unlike the men and the pairs, the ladies event seemed rather lackluster overall. Typical. Really, in terms of practically all aspects of skating--performance, ambition of jump content, skating skills, intricacy, choreography, transitions, ambition of artistic vision, etc....the men really put the ladies to shame. And I don't just mean the field at the GPF, but the respective men's and ladies' fields as a whole. Of course, the winner of most men's events is more or less a foregone conclusion these days, but the fight for the silver and bronze is nonetheless very exciting and all the top men seem to be constantly pushing each other to do more quads, more transitions, just....more. Meanwhile, the ladies are extremely unpredictable but many of them seem to be trying to out-do each other in watering down either their programs or their jump content (sometimes both). I for one miss the glory days of the Mao Asada/Yu-Na Kim rivalry, when ladies skating actually seemed quite thrilling to watch.

Carolina Kostner won her first Grand Prix Final on her fourth try with contemporaries like Mao Asada, Yu-Na Kim and Miki Ando finally out of the way at last. I admit, I'm a bit torn about Miss Kostner this season in general. On one hand, I love her programs, especially her long program to Mozart. The choreography is lovely, spirited, engaging and very elegant in terms of structure. Taken as a whole, her two programs are simply the best among the ladies this season. On the other hand, it's a bit sad seeing Miss Kostner win with that kind of jump content, especially considering the fact that the top 5 junior ladies at the JGPF all had higher base values than Miss Kostner. Of course, it's not Miss Kostner's fault that the ladies field is so weak right now, but it's a bit frustrating that Miss Kostner can't even seem to skate cleanly or consistently with this diminished jump content. Argh.

But....whatever. Miss Kostner certainly deserved to win the GPF here, especially with her lead after her very good short program, the best she's performed the Shostakovich piece this season. As for the long program, it was certainly not her best skate, but it was the best of a day of rather un-scintillating performances.

Cup of Russia 2011: Ladies

(I am a terrible, terrible skating blogger. Please pretend this was posted two or three days ago.)

Quite a few strange, misshapen mutants stalked the ladies event at the 2011 Cup of Russia like...two giant stalking stalkers. No, not the skaters themselves or their costumes, but the musical selections used in their programs. Indeed, the event was truly a sight (or sound?) for sore ears, such that it was extremely difficult to choose which was the worst crime against musicality. I bit my tongue when the first strains of a truly horrible version of Bolero popped up during Adelina Sotnikova's short program, but after sitting through Mao Asada's equally grating and twinkly Scheherazade....and Vanessa Mae's ubiquitous screechy Turandot in Sofia Biryukova's long program...and that horrible schlocky version of Liszt's Liebestraum Adelina Sotnikova used....and then the tragic mashup of Barber's Adagio and Requiem for a Dream...I was just barely resisting the urge to watch the competition on mute. I personally have nothing against adaptations/special re-orchestrations of well-known classical pieces (e.g. Mao Asada's Liebestraum is perfectly respectable)....but just make sure they are at least as good as the original versions! Just because this is ladies skating doesn't mean that twinkly/'light' versions of everything are necessary....

Anyway, Mao Asada won the ladies event with a total of 183.25 points, her first win since the 2010 Torino World Championships. Admittedly, it was somewhat less than palatable--and not to mention surprising--to see how Miss Asada was able to win with literally three rotated triple jumps (two flips and one loop) in her long program. However, Miss Asada's strong non-jump elements (all level fours!) and high Program Components Scores certainly helped to pull her scores up.

If her GOEs and PCS from this competition are indicative of anything, it looks like Miss Asada is finally somewhat respectable in the judges' eyes again. Well, I suppose with Yu-Na Kim and Miki Ando gone, Miss Asada is the only World Champion left and those reputation marks have to go somewhere. In all seriousness, however, Miss Asada's overall skating quality was clearly the best among the field at the Cup of Russia, so her PCS were justified. If Alena Leonova is able to get 7s in transitions, choreography and skating skills, Miss Asada deserves at least 8s. Miss Asada was perhaps also helped by the fact that she was skating after Adelina Sotnikova's sad facsimile of a program and the general feeling of doom and despair effected by Miss Leonova's Adagio/Requiem mashup. In such bleak circumstances, Miss Asada's Liebestraum is inevitably a breath of fresh air.

NHK 2011: Ladies

After enduring the truly dreadful skating of the first group (as well as Nicky Slater's unintentionally hilarious commentary), it was such a relief to see some decent performances at the end. At the very least, it was certainly a lot easier to stay awake.

The effulgent Akiko Suzuki placed first overall with 185.98 points, a very commendable feat given her geriatric status as a 26-year-old skater. It appears that the judges have finally acknowledged Miss Suzuki's existence by giving her some respectable PCS at long last. Better late than never, I suppose. But, to be honest, it's a bit sad because Miss Suzuki's past programs were arguably even better in terms of choreography (her West Side Story is just divine), but that's figure skating judging for you. That being said, Miss Suzuki's performance level still remains along with some added refinement. Her Hungarian Rhapsody short program was skated with passion and attack, while Die Fledermaus was radiant with joy and effervescence. Love, love, love the superb opening triple lutz in Die Fledermaus, done in silence in order to allow us to better appreciate the long, held-out running edge coming out of the jump.

Japan Open 2011

New programs, new season, new post! I am excite!



Am I finally on the Chan crack? That shit is potent yo. I have to admit--I actually quite enjoyed Patrick Chan's Concerto de Aranjuez. Yes, it's a Lori Nichol hand-me-down (via Takeshi Honda and Joannie Rochette) but it's a much more palatable offering than last year's Phantom of the Opera. No, Mr. Chan does not quite have the soulful maturity needed to fully wring all the subtle angst out of this particular piece of music, but he does look more mature, the way he holds himself has improved and the program does showcase his mastery of skating skills very well. At this point, however, Takeshi Honda's Aranjuez is still superior, but the season is still young and there's plenty more Chan crack to smoke.

What Would Tarasova Say?

Judging you

A veritable smorgasbord of skaters from the bosom of blessed Mother Russia unveiled their new programs for the upcoming season recently. Morozombie is proud to feature Tatiana Anatolievna Tarasova, legendary skating coach and skating's biggest thorn on PETA's backside, here in spirit to provide some commentary today on the current state of Russian skating.

2011 Worlds: Ladies LP Recap

Which is preferable: a bizarre event (men) or bizarre judging (ladies)? As painful as the former was, the latter is certainly quite a bit more disheartening.

Russian Nationals 2010/2011 Rundown

Just a few comments on the recent Russian National Championships....(yes, this is a srs bsns post, but then again, I am of course always a srs bsns sort of blogger)