What Would Tarasova Say?

Judging you

A veritable smorgasbord of skaters from the bosom of blessed Mother Russia unveiled their new programs for the upcoming season recently. Morozombie is proud to feature Tatiana Anatolievna Tarasova, legendary skating coach and skating's biggest thorn on PETA's backside, here in spirit to provide some commentary today on the current state of Russian skating.





Alena Leonova
"Watching Alena Leonova here is like watching a motor accident, except that the accident is this program and the casualty is good taste. You don't combine chinchilla and cheetah skins to make a proper fur coat, why in the name of Vladimir Putin would anyone combine Barber's Adagio for Strings and Requiem for a Dream in the same program? Why? Why?! And also, what choreography? This program is emptier than Leonid Brezhnev's head."


Volosozhar/Trankov
"Vulgar American music, unfit for the skating rink."


Artur Gachinski
"When did Zhenya-lite start having some actual choreography? Some undeniable improvement with the better flow, posture and line...but the boy still can't hold a candle to Lesha Yagudin."


Ilinykh/Katsalapov
"Discount Virtue/Moir. Hip Hip Chin Chin and Mujer Latina? Somebody needs to buy Nikolai Morozov some new CDs this Christmas. Overall, fairly generic samba/latin/whatever choreography that can only pale in comparison to the reigning Olympic champions. If Ilinykh and Katsalapov have any sense, they should stay with Nikolai Morozov long enough to improve their consistency and technique, then drop him as soon as possible for greener choreographic pastures (ahem)."