Grand Prix Final 2015: Everyone Else

The men were so awesome they get their own post. Everything else that happened at the senior Grand Prix Final 2015 goes in here.

Let's do this twenty questions style:

Stuff I Like: Grand Prix 2015 (Part I)

If one were to choose one word that would be the least descriptive adjective used to describe the 2014-2015 Grand Prix of Figure Skating, it would be 'predictable.' Indeed, from the unprecedented cancellation of Trophee Eric Bompard to the veritable horde of skaters on some sort of a comeback campaign, a good number of preconceptions about the Grand Prix prior to this season have undoubtedly turned out to be laughably wrong (including mine, of course). But unpredictable as it has been, the Grand Prix has definitely not been bereft of memorable performances. Here are my favorite performances from the ladies' and the men's disciplines from this Grand Prix season:

Four Continents 2015: Ladies

The collective age of the ladies podium at the 2015 Four Continents Championships averaged around 16.67 years, which gave this competition the feel of a junior competition. The actual skating itself certainly did not deviate from this feeling.

The Voices of a Generation

Moments from around the world of figure skating this season, captured in the words of millennials unearthed from that repository of millennial musings known as "Tumblr".

DIY Music Selection

So you're a figure skater needing to choose music for your new program(s) this season. The vast repertoire of the world's music is at your fingertips . . . which, undoubtedly, is a daunting prospect. The abundance of choice is staggering: free choice may form the bedrock of the capitalist system in which we reside, but there's a whole lot of music out there to choose from. The feeling is akin to being a lifelong communist being exposed to an American supermarket for the very first time: where do we even begin? How do we even decide? The tyranny of choice can be oppressive indeed.

But fear not, young padawan--Morozombie is here to help with a simple way to choose your figure skating music for the season. All you need to do is take a simple quiz. Add one point for each "yes" answer to the following questions unless otherwise indicated:

Skate America 2014: Ladies SP

Some comments on the top 3 ladies short programs at Skate America 2014....


Elizaveta Tuktamysheva
The downward trajectory of Elizaveta Tutkamysheva has been painful to watch over the past few seasons, particularly as she is a Russian ladies skater: one gets the sense that Ms. Tuktamysheva would literally be trampled afoot by the hordes of talented Russian ladies skaters clawing their way up to the podium. After failing to make the Russian Olympic team at her home Olympics, Ms. Tuktamysheva has clearly buckled down and worked hard to improve her skating. Skating to Bolero while dressed in a dark, bat-winged dress (the wings presumably in tribute to Christopher Dean), Ms. Tuktmaysheva placed first in the short program with a clean skate. Ms. Tuktamysheva's choreography has a jerky quality rather incongruous with the music of Bolero, but her jumps looked very good, and she skated the entire performance with a sort of confidence, conviction and speed that has often been missing from her skating for the past couple of seasons.

Is Gracie Gold the Second Coming?

According to reports online, legendary Biblical figure Jesus Christ, the Messiah and Savior of Humanity, has risen again in the form of sixteen-year-old junior figure skater Gracie Gold.

That Jesus Christ--who is, after all the Son of God--would appear in the form of a young woman has led some to regard such rumors with scepticism, but not figure skating fans, a staunchly devout group of believers online.

When videos of Gold landing triple-triple and triple-triple-triple combinations first surfaced, figure skating fans reacted with various degrees of religious ecstasy, including but not limited to bouts of euphoria and visions of the future.